If you are like me, then there are days when you wake up and you can’t imagine how you will make it through — this day.

If you are like me then there are those times in life when you wake up and things don’t look like you want things to look. When you don’t want to, when they won’t do what you want them to –how do you cope?

When it’s not working and they’re not working out – where do you turn?

When it’s gotten way too hard and you are way beyond “I want to give up” –

I could insist that he put his socks in the hamper at the end of the day instead of leaving them in the middle of the floor every night, waiting for me to pick up every single morning.

I could make a solid case against his need to open a new jar of peanut butter when half of the old jar is remains un-used.

I could make fun of the fact that, unless I ask him to put on more comfortable clothes at the end of the day, he will stay in his “more formal attire” until he is ready to go to bed.

I could — but I don’t.

That he does these things is what makes him who he is.

That I know that he does those things is –

what makes him —

MINE.

Basically what she was calling me was a hypocrite — I think.

The other day I was having a salad that just happened to have an innocent sliver of steak on it — like a little tenderloin. As she watchs me put fork to plate and then to mouth, Gussie blames me for being the source of her mass confusion:

“One minute it’s O.K. to eat meat and the next minute it’s not.”

She complains. And then she continues:

“The other day someone asked me if I wanted a burger and I didn’t know what to say because of all this back and forth…”

As I try to listen to her, beyond her righteous indignation, I am trying to remember Why I miss her when she’s gone.

Finally:

“Mom! I have got all of this meat running around in my head and it’s all your fault!”

Of all of the things that I imagined that I would be accused of as a mother, I promise you that this was never one of them…

I am quite frankly —

PISSED OFF!!!!!

Last night, Auguste and Gussie and I decide to go to out for burritos. After an enjoyable meal, because it is a beautiful summer evening, we decide to take our time and walk home. As we walk and talk we comment on how the cool summer breeze is a welcome change from all of the hot and humid weather that we have been experiencing. (New York is horrible when it is hot and humid).

We are enjoying our walk and our conversation. We are happy catching up with each other about the events of our respective days.

As we got closer to home, following our ususal route, we turn to walk down a side street. We pass our dentists office, the beautiful pet boarding facility and we notice that they have finally finished the lobby of the builidng with those new condominiums.

As we approach the park near City Hall, Gussie and I are now a few paces ahead of Auguste when these men in a car open the door and start toward us, mouthing obscene comments. I stop, grab Gussie, confident that Auguste is only a few steps behind us; confident that when they see him their threatening behavior will stop.

As Auguste approaches us, they realize that we belong together and so they back down,

“We didn’t know they were with you”.

Understandably angry, Auguste shouts back at them as we walk away, accurately observing and then satisfyingly identifying them as the “assholes” that they are being.

At this point as a clear and obvious challenge, they start moving to get out of their car as if to indicate that they are preparing for some kind of a show down with a man jsut trying to walk home from a nice dinner with his family.

Auguste, not being one to back down from anything, starts to head back toward the direction of the car. I see my life flash before me as I think –

“This is how those things that your read about in the paper get started. This, right here and right now, could end very badly. I started screaming at Auguste “Come On! Let’s just go! Let’s just get home!”

Too late. He has gone to “that place”. The button has been pushed. The switch has been activated and the sequence, at this point, will need to play itself out. There is not a scream I can deliver, there is not a shout that I can impose that will even be heard by Mr. Auguste Roc when this happens.

With my 11 year old child walking just steps before me, I start talking to God — Out loud!

“Just get us out of here — NOW!!”

And –

He did.

As we walk the rest of the way home, we move in silence, adrenaline racing through our veins. I am really resentful –

We were minding our own business. We were enjoying ourselves.

How is it that we have come to a point where a man can’t walk home with his family on a warm summer night in peace?

Was it O.K. in their minds to mess with Gussie and me like that because we were not with a man?
(And they were Black too, so I am extra pissed off.)

Earlier that evening we were walking down crowded Sixth Avenune in the West Village. Gussie is walking just a couple of steps ahead of us. She is talking on the phone to her grandmother when a man, who looks as if he might even be coming from work, like maybe a guy who attends church on Sundays, steps up to her, sizes her up, licks his lips in preparation to speak — seductively, looks up and catches my glare. The wrath of a mother is instantly unleashed —

“What is your problem? She is obviously a child! She’s eleven and this is her father…”

His SICKO was about to meet my PSYCHO!

I too lost my rational common sense to my anger. That protective mother instinct in me clicked in and there was no doubt in my mind that I could, that I would take him down! (That asshole was Black too.)

What in the world has happened?! What the on earth are we doing?!

WHO THE HELL HAVE WE BECOME????!!!!

Everywhere you look there is a roadmap, a recipe, a set of guidelines —

Formulas, structures, blueprints and plans.

a way that it is done.

For every GAME there is a GAME plan…

We said goodbye and watched them walk out of sight.

Auguste has a good friend John who is a Colonel in the United States Marine Corp. John and Auguste hasve been friends since they were kids and they have just recently reconnected after years of not knowing how to get in touch with one another. (Google. Thank goodness for Google)

Friday night John was in town and we had dinner with him and his 17 year old daughter.

It was a beautiful summer evening and after dinner, we sat and talked over coffee and dessert until after midnight. Later, we all walked leisurely along New York City Streets. As Auguste and John reminisced I listened and I noticed that time and distance seemed to recede into the background as they shared stories about growing up together. Lots of laughter. Lots of memories.

We said goodbye and watched John and his daughter walk out of sight.

By the end of next week John will be serving in Iraq. God bless him and I hope that things go well.

I hope that we will get to share another summer dinner with John.

There is sun above those clouds even if you can’t see it right now.

Even if you don’t know it, even if you don’t feel like it right now…

We were walking around downtown New York yesterday as the World Cup celebrations were in full force. We were right on the edge of “Little Italy”, the neighborhood in New York with its roots in Italy.

Fans for the Italian team were cheering and laughing, talking to strangers and spreading good will. It was nice to watch; really nice.

Later on, as we ate dinner and watched the continued celebrations that resulted from this football victory, I wondered why we as human beings will rally around a sport and a team, quicker than we will rally around almost anything else. We allow ourselves to feel the pain of loss, experience the thrill of victory. We choose sides and then we’ll fight for the side that we’re on as if, what happens with the team, as if what happens on the field, has any real or meaningful impact on our lives.

With all that is going on in the world, I wonder if that energy, redirected, could make a difference toward –

WORLD PEACE…

Don’t you just hate it when you are in a great mood and you have to be with someone who’s in a bad one?

And, don’t you just hate being around people who’s mood swings are intense or unpredictable?

I hate that! Don’t you?

We have all had the experience of, going about the business of happily living our lives and then all of a sudden somebody else’s funk fest infects our positive vibe!

We all know “people” who seem completely clueless to the fact, and out of touch with the reality that,